EARNESTLY CONTENDING FOR THE
FAITH:
SEVEN PRINCIPLES IN TRAINING
GODLY CHILDREN
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4 That they may teach the young
women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their
children, 5 To be discreet, chaste,
keepers at
home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not
blasphemed. (Titus 2:4-5).
Mothers, if you have young children at home and
you work outside the home, then you and your husband are
blaspheming the Word Of God. |
THE LORD JESUS CHRIST IS
GOD MANIFEST IN THE FLESH.
THAT IS WHY HE IS GOD |
Do you know for a fact that if you were
to
die today that you would not go to hell?
If you do not know, click
here.
|
Train up a child in the way he
should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it
(Proverbs 22:6). Foolishness is bound in the heart of a
child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him
(Proverbs 22:15). He that spareth his rod hateth his son:
but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (Proverbs
13:24). Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy
soul spare for his crying (Proverbs 19:18). Withhold not
correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the
rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and
shalt deliver his soul from hell. (Proverbs 23:13-14) The
rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame. (Proverbs 29:15) |
The following article is posted in its entirety to
http://www.earnestlycontendingforthefaith.com/ with the
express written consent of Pastor Terry L. Coomer. For the Adobe©
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For the Love of the Family Ministries
Missionaries to America's Forgotten Mission Field, the
Family
Seven Principles In Training Godly Children
Dr. Terry L. Coomer, Pastor Ministry of Hope Baptist Church
139 Shadow Oaks Drive
Sherwood, AR 72120
501-819-0446
TLCOOMER@juno.com
These messages may be copied in their entirety to help
Christians in the rearing of their children for God,
strengthening their family, and their marriage. They are not
to be changed in any manner or to be sold. This header must
be on any copy. If you have any questions, please feel free
to contact the author.
Seven Principles
In Training Godly Children
The following article by Pastor David
Sorenson is based on his book TRAINING YOUR CHILDREN TO
TURN OUT RIGHT. Churches can order this excellent book
from Northstar Ministries, 1820 W. Morgan St., Duluth,
MN 55811, 218-726-0209, www.northstarministries.com,
dhs.northstar@charter.net. This article was sent out by
Way Of Life Literature, January 26, 2010 (Fundamental
Baptist Information Service, P.O. Box 610368, Port
Huron, MI 48061, 866-295-4143, fbns@wayoflife.org;
I. THE IMPORTANCE OF
THE WORD OF GOD
If there is a basic truth that is universal in training
children to be godly, it is the necessity of building a
foundation of the Word of God in their lives. This is
true for any born-again Christian and that includes the
children of God’s people. I fear that Christian parents
come to rely on Christian media, Sunday School teachers,
church youth programs, and Christian schools to see
their youth turn out right. All of these are potentially
good and can be a great help; however, the foundation
for godly living is often missing in the lives of the
children and youth of God’s people. That foundation is a
daily absorption of the Word of God.
A young person from a Christian home can go to a
Christian school or be home-schooled with a godly
curriculum, be faithful to Sunday School and church
programs, go to church camp, and be carnal, rebellious,
and worldly. Or more frequently, they are just lukewarm
and go with the flow, but there are not true spiritual
convictions in their hearts. The reason is as simple as
it is singular. They are not in the Word of God on a
daily basis.
It makes little difference if one is a young person or a
seasoned adult. Apart from daily consumption of the Word
of God, any believer will be carnal and more worldly
than godly. God said to Joshua,millennia ago:
“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth;
but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou
mayest observe to do according to all that is written
therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous,
and then thou shalt have good success” (Joshua 1:8).
That premise and promise has never been abrogated. When
a young person, or anyone for that matter, saturates his
mind with the Word of God so that it soaks down into his
heart, it will modify his behavior.
That is why the Psalmist wrote long ago, “Thy word have
I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee”
(Psalm 119:11). The idea here is not so much rote
memorization of Scripture as it is filling one’s mind
with God’s Word to such a degree that it soaks down into
the heart. When that has happened, we will not sin
against God. The will has been changed.
As a pastor, I watch children from Christian homes who
are in Christian schools or are home schooled. Their
parents make sure they are at every service and youth
function of the church. And yet, these same kids are
rebellious, carnal, and have a worldly attitude. Why?
Because they are not in the Word in a meaningful way.
It’s as simple as that.
Here are five practical tips by which Christian parents
can direct their children into meaningful Bible reading.
1. Start early. When our children were small, we had
them read from the Bible as soon as they could barely
read. It was short, but they started late in their
kindergarten year.
2. Plan their reading. The Bible is a complex book, even
for adults. When our children were small, we had them
read in 1 John because of its simple vocabulary and
syntax. We had them read at first just a verse or two a
day. As they progressed through grade school, the daily
reading assignment grew to a chapter a day and by the
time they were in junior high school, we had our girls
reading four chapters a day. That is the basic amount to
read the Bible through in a year. But the greater point
is that we planned their reading for them.
3. Provide positive incentives. When our girls were
small, we prepared a chart which was on the refrigerator
and as they did their requisite daily Bible reading,
they received a star on their chart each day. When they
had faithfully filled their chart for several weeks or a
month, we planned a special reward for them.
4. Enforce the policy. We made sure that our girls did
their daily Bible reading as assigned. A refrain oft
heard at the breakfast table was “Did you do your Bible
reading this morning?”Though they eventually grew out of
the charts and stars on the refrigerator, we still
checked up on them throughout their adolescent years.
5. Just do it because it is right. As the girls grew out
of the stage where they needed little incentives, we
shifted to the philosophy of doing your Bible reading
just because it was right. As we developed the principle
of righteousness in the meantime, it was easy to mesh
the practice of daily Bible reading with the principle
of righteousness. Indeed, it is right to be in God’s
Word each day.
II. THE PRINCIPLE OF
RIGHTEOUSNESS
A second profound principle in the Christian life, and
certainly so for training Christian youth, is that of
righteousness. The Bible fairly overflows with the
concept of and references to righteousness. There are
approximately 1,300 references to righteousness in the
Bible in its various forms and implications. That is
approximately one per chapter. Our Lord is referred to
as “Jesus Christ the Righteous” in 1 John 2:1. In Psalm
11:7, we read, “For the righteous LORD loveth
righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.”
Notice that the Lord Himself is righteous. He loves
righteousness and He watches over the upright.
Very much more could be stated on this point, but if one
would be Christ-like, he or she must develop the
principle and practice of righteousness in daily living.
Simply put, that is doing what is right as a matter of
principle, as a matter of practice, and as a conviction
of life. Developing the principle of righteousness has
profound implications. Any deed, statement, or attitude
can be reduced to the simple question, “Is it right?” If
a given matter is not right, that settles it. I will not
do so. If it is right, I will do so. Simple isn’t it?
For example, notice the classic admonition in Ephesians
6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this
is right.”The precept is for children to obey their
parents. But there is a more basic reason--it is right.
The self discipline to do what is right is the essence
of Christian character. Youth trained to do right
regardless will find obedience to authority to come
easily. It parallels walking in the Spirit. And, it is
the essence of being Christ-like.
Consider four ways to instill the concept and practice
of righteousness into the warp and woof of the character
of our children.
1. Teach righteousness as a precept. Over the years as
our children were growing up, we often and regularly
taught them “We always do what is right.” Did they (or
we) always do what was right? No. But they began to be
predisposed to that conviction. In our daily devotions
at the breakfast table, we would frequently go to one of
the many references to righteousness in the Bible and
make it the topic of our devotions for that day.
Children by their very nature tend to do what they want
to do and not what they ought to do. When the refrain of
“I don’t want to” or its corollary “but I want to.....”
cropped up, it became a time to teach doing as we ought
to do (i.e., doing what was right) rather than doing
what we wanted. The philosophy of the world, the flesh,
and the devil is to do what we want. Being Christ-like
is doing what is right or its corollary, doing as I
ought. Teach children to do as they ought rather than
what they want.
2. Apply the principle of righteousness. There are
endless applications to the principle of righteousness.
Obedience to parents is paramount--for this is right.
Smoking is not right. Rock music is not right. Telling
the truth is right. Reading one’s Bible daily is right.
A bad attitude is not right. Stealing is not right.
Virtually any child can understand the basic principle
of right and wrong. Relating basic standards of conduct
to the simple matter of doing what is right greatly
simplifies a child’s understanding of what is expected.
More than that, the entire matter of conduct and
attitude is tied directly to the basic biblical precept
of doing what is right.
3. Teach righteousness by example. It is axiomatic that
as much is caught as is taught. Our talk talks, and our
walk talks; but our walk talks louder than our talk
talks. Truly, what we do speaks louder than what we say.
Inconsistency on the part of a parent will do more to
breed rebellion than virtually any other one matter.
Conversely, a consistent example will do more to
re-enforce what we say than just about anything else. If
we teach our kids it is not right to watch coarse TV
program but do so ourselves, we unravel much of what we
have tried to teach otherwise. If we teach our kids it
is right to be faithful to the things of God, but then
we skip church when an ideal weekend for camping or
golfing presents itself, we neutralize our own counsel.
A consistent example of right living is a powerful
instrument in training our children to do the same.
4. Teach righteousness early and long. As soon as
children are old enough to understand speech, begin to
instill the principle of right. Continue it on through
their adolescent years. Though neither we as parents or
our children will ever be altogether righteous in this
present world, nevertheless, teaching it as a principle
and a practice is a powerful truth. Decades ago, Dr. Bob
Jones, Sr. penned these words:
“Do right till the stars fall, Do right till the last
call, Do right though no one stands with you. Do right
when you’re all alone. Do right though it’s never known.
Do right since you love the Lord, Do right, do right!”
That philosophy is both scriptural and powerful. It is
essential to developing godly Christian young people.
III. THE PRINCIPLE OF
DISCIPLINE
Hudson Taylor one said, “An undisciplined person will
never amount to anything in God’s work.” In fact, an
undisciplined person will likely never amount to much in
any area of life. There is a great need for
self-discipline. Self-discipline is compelling myself to
do what I ought to do. It is closely related to the
broader principle of righteousness. The former follows
from the latter. Righteousness is doing as I ought to
do. Self-discipline is compelling myself to do as I
ought. In fact, a simple definition of Christian
character is the self-discipline to do what is right.
The problem every child has is that he or she is born
with a sinful human nature. That sinful nature operates
on the basis of the lusts of the flesh. The flesh is a
reference to our old sinful nature and its basic modus
operandi is “lust.” In its garden variety sense, that
simply means desires or wants. Our children are born
with a sinful nature that is characterized by
self-interest, self-desire, and self-gratification. As a
result all children are by nature selfish, lazy, and
self-directed. The old nature lives for entertainment of
self.
In 1 Corinthians 9:25, the Bible says, “And every man
that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all
things.” Part of the fruit of the Spirit is “temperance”
(Galatians 5:23).The English word temperance essentially
means to be self-disciplined. In the greater scope of
building character, it is impelling ourselves to do as
we ought to do rather than what we want to do. If a
child will develop strength of Christian character, his
or her life will be built around doing as he ought to do
rather than doing as he wants to do.
There are a number of spiritual virtues which are
closely related to be disciplined in life. Let us
consider several of them.
Diligence. The word diligence is found in both the Old
and New Testaments. The thought is to be careful to do
what ought to be done. In fact, the literal sense is “to
hasten the matter.” It is the antithesis of
procrastination. It is closely related to being
punctual. All of this goes back to the more basic
concept of compelling ourselves to do as we ought to do
which is self-discipline.
Faithfulness. Whether it is being faithful to church
services, faithful to daily Bible reading and prayer, or
faithful in Christian service, self-discipline is just
beneath the surface. I may not “feel” like getting up
early to read the Bible in the morning, but
self-discipline will impel me to do so. I may not “want”
to go to a meeting of the church, but self-discipline
compels me to do as I ought. I may be tempted to slack
off in a given area of Christian service, but the
self-discipline to do what is right will prod me to be
faithful in that service. Shallow Christians do what
they want to do. Mature Christians do what they ought to
do.
Education. Discipline is also a major factor in the
process of education. Little Johnny may not feel like
doing his school work. But if he has been taught to be
self-disciplined in life, he will do it anyway. It is
more fun to stare out the window and watch what is going
on out there than paying attention. It is more fun to
tease and make faces than concentrate on the lesson at
hand. A child who has been taught to be self-disciplined
will not find it difficult to focus on what he ought to
be doing rather than on what he wants or feels like
doing.
Organization. Self-discipline is the key to
organization. Essentially, being organized is thinking
ahead. The reason people are unorganized is that they
live in the present and do not think about what is
coming next until it happens. It is easier to enjoy the
moment than to exercise our minds in trying to think.
This consigns many to a state of perpetual
disorganization.
All of these come back to the basic principle of
self-discipline. But self-discipline is rooted in the
even more basic principle of righteousness which is
doing as we ought. Our new nature has been created in
righteousness and true holiness. Hence, a life
disciplined to do what is right is synchronous with the
new nature. Parents, you will do yourself and your
children a great favor by instilling in them
self-discipline of life. It is a great positive.
IV. THE PRINCIPLE OF
OBEDIENCE
One of the most basic commands in the Bible for children
is found in Ephesians 6:4. “Children obey your parents
in the Lord, for this is right.” Few things are more
basic than that. But whether a child obeys his or her
parents is largely up to the parents. A disobedient
child reflects parents who have not trained their child
to obey. One of the axiomatic rules in our home was “We
always obey.” If my dog is unruly, disobedient and
undisciplined, who is at fault, the dog or me? Training
a dog takes a great deal of time and patience. Training
a child takes even more. We positively demanded that our
children obey us. If they did not obey, there were
immediate and consistent consequences. Every time. Every
single time.
There are several principles to be remembered when
enforcing rules.
First, rules must be immediately enforced.
As a pastor, I have visited in thousands of home. I have
witnessed the following scenario played out numerous
times. The details may vary, but the basic incident was
always similar. Mom would say to Junior, “It’s time to
go to bed.” (Or some other parental directive) Junior
ignored his mother and continued to watch the TV. She
continued her conversation with me. After a few moments,
she would say. “Junior I told you to go and get ready
for bed.” He replied, “Awe, I don’t want to.” Mom let
that go by. A few moments later, Mom became a little hot
about the matter. She raised the volume of her voice and
said, “I TOLD YOU TO GET READY FOR BED.” Junior,
replied, “But Mom, I WANT to watch my program.” Mom
tolerated that counter for a few more moments. She then
announced, “THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM GOING TO TELL
YOU. GO AND GET READY FOR BED!” Junior, by now himself
getting exasperated at being shouted at, shouts back, “I
TOLD YOU, I DON’T WANT TO!” Finally, Mom shouts, “IAM
WARNING YOU. MARCH RIGHT NOW, OR I AM GOING TO WHIP
YOU!”
The real culprit was not Junior. He knew from
considerable experience that Mom could be ignored. Mom
was too lazy to get up and deal with the situation. She,
in fact, was in her own way contributing to the
delinquency of Junior.
Secondly, the basic rules of the home must be
consistently enforced.
If it is wrong to do something on Monday, you had better
deal with it on Tuesday and Wednesday the same way.
Consistency is a valuable jewel in the crown of parental
leadership. Incidentally, inconsistency is a major
factor in provoking adolescent rebellion later in life.
Finally, family rules need to be fairly and wisely
enforced.
Parents need the wisdom of Solomon. We need to be just
and fair in dealing with our children. Though this
section may seem authoritarian and unbending, there are
times when children forget, or in their childish
immaturity make mistakes.
There are several broad principles for developing
obedience. One is positive re-enforcement. Perhaps the
greatest positive re-enforcement is the matter of love.
We need to let our children know that we love them.
Then, a form of positive re-enforcement is to always
teach the rules or policies ahead of time. Another
helpful means of positive re-enforcement is the use of
incentives to achieve desired behavior. Finally, it
absolutely critical that we provided positive
re-enforcement by our example.
The other side of the coin in developing obedience is
negative re-enforcement. A simple principle in punishing
children is that the punishment must always exceed the
pleasure or enjoyment of the wrong doing. Perhaps, the
most basic form of punishment, particularly for smaller
children, is the matter of spanking. Much could be said,
but let us consider several simple basics thereof.
1. Establish ahead of time the basis for spanking your
children. At our house, it was made clear ahead of time
that if our girls violated rules in three particular
areas, there would be an automatic spanking. (Those
three areas were direct disobedience, lying, and
disrespect to a parent.)
2. Establish standard implements for administering
spankings. There have been numerous implements used over
the centuries ranging from switches to belts. We often
used paint-stirring paddles.
3. Establish a standard place to administer spankings.
We never spanked our children publicly for a variety of
reasons. However, at home, we chose a neutral room--that
was the bathroom. There on the toilet was the waiting
paint-stirring stick.
4. Establish standard spanking polices. Depending on the
age of the children and the nature of the offense, we
had guidelines for how many swats they might receive.
5. Always stay under control. Never spank in anger or in
a fit of lost temper. We always endeavored to be cool,
calm, and collected.
6. Spank soon after the offense. Though we refrained
from spanking in public, we would try to deal
with a matter as soon as was practically possible
thereafter.
7. Do not reject your children. Love them. In the
aftermath of a spanking, we would always hug our
children and tell them we loved them. It also was a time
for retrospection as to why they had been spanked. But
we always sought to conclude such unhappy times with a
hug and kiss.
V. THE PRINCIPLE OF
SEPARATION
We touch upon what for some is a controversial point,
which is separation from the world. I learned long ago
that the biblical principle of separation is exceedingly
practical. But that truth did not come into clear focus
until I was a father and rearing children. The Bible is
clear. We read in 2 Corinthians 6:17, “Wherefore come
out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord,
and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive
you.” God said “And be not conformed to this world” in
Romans 12:2. He further commanded, “Love not the world,
neither the things that are in the world. If any man
love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and
the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of
the Father, but is of the world” (1 John 2:15-16).
Separation from the world and the things which are in
the world is not legalism as is often alleged. It is
obedience to God and, as mentioned, exceedingly
practical. The further we can keep our children from the
influences of the world, the better it will be for them.
The truth is, the devil has a target painted on the back
of our children and he will do everything in his power
to trying and snare them. He has two powerful allies:
(1) the old nature and (2) the world. The farther we can
keep out children from the deceitful enticements of the
world, the less of an opportunity the devil has to reach
them. God cried out, “O that there were such an heart in
them, that they would fear me, and keep all my
commandments always, that it might be well with them,
and with their children for ever!” (Deuteronomy 5:29).
Obedience to the biblical command of separating from the
world is exceedingly practical. It will help keep them
from being enticed by the excitements, entertainments,
and allures of the world.
Think of a little girl. Her open countenance and
innocence are seemingly pure and wholesome. However,
allow the bacteria of the world and its philosophy to
begin to work in that sweet child, and before long that
little girl may become a spiritually sour, rebellious
young woman. We have all seen it. In their preschool and
elementary years, they were so cute, so innocent, so
wholesome. However, when they reached their adolescent
years, they became rebellious, sour, and sometimes
incorrigible. That innocent, open countenance became
hard and defiant. Their clothing and hair styles became
the uniform of whatever the latest fad of rebellion was.
Plus, they may actually be doing the stuff that they
look like. What happened? The devil, along with his
allies in the world and the carnal old nature within,
snagged another young person. And the children in
Christian homes certainly are not immune.
There are numerous enticements of the world. But let us
touch briefly upon several means by which the devil
snares the kids in Christian homes.
1. Perhaps more than anything else, the devil uses the
power of music to get his hooks into young people. We do
not have the space to elaborate at length about the
perils of music. But suffice it to say that the world’s
music is a primary device of the devil in getting hold
of young people, and that certainly includes children in
Christian homes. In the years our children were growing
up, they simply were not allowed to listen to rock music
or any other form of the world’s music. We did not allow
them to have a radio, stereo or other type of playback
device in their rooms. Technology has changed over the
years, but the principle is the same. We currently have
a foster daughter in our home, and she is not allowed to
play any music on her iPod which is not approved. More
Christian young people have been drawn into the world by
way of the world’s music than probably any other one
means. It is powerful. One of the best things you as a
parent can do is control the music to which your
children listen. You will never regret that decision.
2. Another powerful device of the devil is television
and the proliferation of videos (regardless of the media
or technical format). Television and the Hollywood are
the quintessence of the world’s system. Be extremely
careful at what you allow your children to watch. The
glamour and entertainment values of the world can
quickly draw a child in a Christian home away from the
Word of God and the things of God. The devil knows that
and he works relentlessly to attract young eyes to the
display screen.
3. The Internet is a modern phenomena unknown when my
girls were growing up, but it is a reality in virtually
every American home today. The Internet can range from
extremely useful and helpful as an educational and even
spiritual resource to extremely wicked and vile. One can
find wonderful spiritual help on the Internet. And, one
can find the vilest of pornography and filth there. The
up and coming generation is adept at exploiting the
latest technologies and websites. We presently have a
teen foster child living in our home. We have set down
several rules for her use of the Internet. First, she
can only go online with the family laptop in the living
or dining room where it is open for all to see what she
is doing. Second, we require her to give us all her
passwords so that if necessary we can monitor what she
is up to online. Third, she has been instructed that she
cannot visit chat rooms of any variety, nor can she have
a My space page. From time to time, we add other popular
websites to the off-limits list. I occasionally check
the browser history of that computer to monitor what
sites are being visited. Our system may not be fool
proof, but we are reasonably confident that we have the
situation under control. Some parents use filters and
they can be very helpful, especially for boys using the
Internet. Pornography is just a click away and most kids
know how to find it.
You will never regret keeping a very short leash on the
usage of the internet by your children. Separation from
the world is scriptural and it is exceedingly practical
in keeping our kids away from the snare of the devil. It
is not legalism! It is obedience to God. You will never
regret keeping a substantial distance between your
children and the things in the world.
VI. PARENTAL PRACTICES
Over the years, I have come to the firm conviction that
the issues of life are fundamentally spiritual. That is,
crucial issues of life such as family, marriage,
children, and basic happiness are spiritual in nature.
It follows, therefore, that core spiritual principles
must be established in parents if their children are
going to turn out right.
Let us consider several basic spiritual practices on the
part of Christian parents which are important to the
training of our children. It is axiomatic that we cannot
train someone else in something we do not understand
ourselves. If we would train our children to be
spiritual, godly young adults, these practices must
first be developed in the parents.
1. The practice of godliness. As much is caught as is
taught. Do our kids see godly parents? The Apostle Paul
wrote, “For bodily exercise profiteth little: but
godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise
of the life that now is, and of that which is to come”
(1 Timothy 4:8).We live in an age where athletics are
exalted from middle school on through professional
sports. A significant section of the daily newspaper is
reserved for sports news. The same is true for the
evening news. Athletics and sports are almost a religion
in the modern culture. God says that such exercise is
limited in its benefits, but godliness is profitable
unto all things. Godliness produces benefits for not
only this life, but also rewards which will last for
eternity. I would submit that we as parents need to set
an example of godliness and then seek to train our
children in the same. Over the years, I have heard
Christian parents plead, “But Junior is a good kid.”
Ironically, most parents will say the same thing, even
those in the world whose kids are in criminal trouble.
The question rather is, “Are they godly?” It seems we
have raised a generation of young people who are good
kids, but not godly. Godliness will not only preclude
the problems of sin and the world, it will develop into
our children the qualities that God has intended for His
people. Yet, the training of godliness begins with Mom
and Dad. We must lead from example and practice.
2. The practice of faithfulness. One of the simplest
practices of the Christian life is that of faithfulness
in day-to-day Christian living that translates into
being faithful to the things of God. Or put another way,
it means being in church every time the door is open.
Jesus said, “Be thou faithful unto death, and I will
give thee a crown of life” (Revelation 2:10).The Apostle
wrote, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves
together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one
another: and so much the more, as ye see the day
approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). The policy in my home, in
my parent’s home, and in my grandparent’s home was
simple. Any time the church door was open, we were
there. Jesus said, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and
his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33).
Inconsistency on the part of Christian parents,
particularly regarding faithfulness to the things of
God, is a major factor in Christian young people
rebelling or drifting off into the world. I have watched
this pattern for forty years. Christian parents who are
inconsistent in faithfulness have a far higher dropout
rate amongst their kids than those parents who saw to it
their family never missed. I have watched Christian men
who otherwise are good men and basically living for the
Lord suddenly set aside faithfulness when deer hunting
or fishing season opened. They usually reaped a bitter
harvest later as their kids kicked over the traces when
they got out of high school. I have watched men in the
ministry who were unfaithful to services when on
vacation. Their kids took note thereof. Sadly, more
often than not, they reaped a bitter harvest later
because of their inconsistency and unfaithfulness. A
variant of the foregoing matter is that of allowing kids
to stay home from church to do school work. Over the
years I have known more parents than I care to admit who
let their kids stay home on Wednesday or Sunday nights
to do school work. “They had too much homework to do.”
Priorities do not conflict. School work is important,
but the things of God are more important. Christian
parent, you will never regret being completely
consistent in the matter of faithfulness. However, those
who compromise on this issue will later wonder what went
wrong when their kids head off into the world.
3. The practice of devotions. Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “And
thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and
shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and
when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down,
and when thou risest up.”The clear instruction here is
that we as parents are to teach our children the things
of God. One of the most effective ways to do so is to
establish a time each day when we sit down and directly
teach our children. This is what I refer to as family
devotions. Every family’s schedule will be different,
but we found doing so at the breakfast table to work
well.
Let us consider several pointers for establishing
simple, but ongoing family devotions.
Have a purpose. Over the years we focused primarily on
two areas in our family devotions. One was to explain
the matter of salvation to our children. They needed to
understand the need for it, what Christ did for us on
the cross, and the way to be saved. When our children
were young and before they were saved, we often focused
our daily devotions on this crucial topic. The other
major matter we focused on was Christian and godly
character. Because righteousness of practice is at the
heart of Christian character, all throughout their
formative years, we repeatedly discussed the principle
of righteousness, the practice thereof, and verses which
illustrated these.
Have a plan. One route to success for a family devotion
time is to have a simple operational plan which does not
require a great deal of preparation. One method we have
used over the years, particularly in teaching godliness
and righteousness, is to take one chapter of Proverbs a
day according to the days of the month. For example, if
the day of the month is the 29th, I would go to Proverbs
29, and accordingly. There I would seek out a verse or
two which stood out and go over them briefly. Once we
had gone through Proverbs, we might then go to Psalms
and look for an appropriate verse in a three chapter
sequence. For example, if the day of the month was the
15th, I might peruse Psalm 45-47 for a verse to dwell
upon. (There are 150 Psalms and seeking a good verse
over three chapters was simple and always worked.) Of
course, we might go elsewhere to deal with specific
problems. Having a well marked Bible wherein verses
which have blessed us or otherwise stood out were
underlined made it very easy to conduct family devotions
this way. That underlining came during personal Bible
reading times. We then had a season of prayer where
various members of the family took turns praying.
Keep it simple. One of the great hindrances to family
devotions is that most people do not have a long term
method of sustaining a day-after-day and year-after-year
devotional plan. The plan mentioned above is simple and
eminently Scriptural. It is virtually inexhaustible.
Most parents are very busy with the affairs of life and
don’t have time to prepare extensive family devotions.
Pre-planned devotional guides cost money and usually run
out after a month or two. However you do it, have a
simple plan of teaching your children the things of God.
God has given that charge to the parents in general and
to the father in particular.
4. The Practice of Love. Throughout this material there
has been an emphasis upon righteousness, separation from
the world, faithfulness, and consistency. However, the
home ought to be an aquarium of love. We need to tell
our children we love them and express it to them in
discreet physical affection and by buying gifts for
them. Without a question, love will cover a multitude of
sins. Love your kids!
VII. TRAIN THEM TO
WALK IN THE SPIRIT
Our children were born with a sinful human nature. In
the Bible, it is called the “flesh” and it is corrupt.
Our old nature is the seat of all sin, corruption, and
evil. And our children certainly possess such a sinful
nature. When they are born again, God creates within
them a new nature, called the new man and also in some
cases called the “spirit.”The latter, of course, is born
of the Spirit of God. At any given day or hour, we will
either live (i.e., walk) in the flesh or in the spirit.
When Christian young people walk in the flesh, they are
no different in principle than their unsaved
counterparts in the world. And, it is when they walk in
the flesh that sin appears whether a temper tantrum when
they are young, to overt rebellion when they are older,
to gross sin in their adolescent years.
The solution to sin and rebellion in the lives of our
children is to train them to walk in the spirit. The
Apostle Paul wrote, “This I say then, Walk in the
Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh”
(Galatians 5:16).As we train our children to live their
lives in the new nature rather than the old nature, a
powerful defense against the wiles of the devil, the
lust of the flesh, and the temptations of the world will
form.
Here are seven tips toward walking in the new nature
(walking in the spirit).
1. Insure that your children have a new nature. A child
cannot walk in the new man if he does not possess it.
This means assuring they have been truly born again.
2. Strengthening the new nature within comes in large
measure from the Word of God. If our children are in the
Word every single day, they will very likely walk in the
Spirit and not in the lusts of the flesh. As noted in an
earlier section, one of the most important practices we
will ever teach our children is that of being in the
Word, daily, yea, day and night.
3. Carefully lay the foundation of righteousness in the
lives of your children. The new nature has been created
in righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:24). As we
inculcate the principle and habit of doing what is right
as a practice of life, it is synchronous with and
parallel to walking in the spirit. The one will
strengthen the other.
4. Insist on a disciplined life. The essence of
Christian character is the self-discipline to do what is
right. The new nature operates on the principle of doing
as I ought to do whereas the old nature operates on the
basis of doing as I want to do. A life attuned to doing
as I ought to do will find it easy to walk in the
Spirit. One accustomed to living life based on doing
what I want, will struggle with the new nature. A
self-discipline to do as I ought (i.e., do what is
right) is a fertile seed bed for walking in the Spirit.
5. Train your children to put off the old nature and put
on the new each day. The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians
4:22-24, “That ye put off concerning the former
conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to
the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of
your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after
God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”The
analogy is of putting off dirty clothing and putting on
clean clothing in its place. We must deal with our old
nature on a daily basis. Each day, we need to make a
conscious decision to put off the old nature and put on
the new. We need to train our children to do the same.
6. A corollary truth is of crucifying our old nature. We
need to train our children to pause and pray each day
and ask the Holy Spirit to help them to crucify their
old nature. We need to do so and so do they.
7. Keep the temptations of the world as far from your
children as possible. The principle of separation will
be of an immense help for your children as they learn to
walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. The world
constantly appeals to the old nature. But the new nature
operates on a different channel. The farther away we can
keep the world from our children, the greater potential
they will have to overcome the old nature and walk in
the new.
And so, dear Christian parent, seek to develop these
seven principles in training your children. You will not
regret having done so.
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